Spam dissection – Episode 003

Welcome to Spam and SEO dissection episode 3!

Oh boy oh boy I haven't done a spam dissection in a while! We typically do these once a year or so because spam generally takes a while to cycle out their sales pitches! For those new to our blog spam dissection is where we show you all of the terrible shit that comes into your typical WordPress users spam box. Then we turn around and make fun of it all. As fun as the A.I. Generated texts are that make you think that you're on "Feminute" with Infochammel we're not going to do those.

But if we find a few we might post as honorable mentions! From scammers to spammers this is the section of our site where we let them have a voice and answer their questions without giving them the credit they think they deserve by embedding links to their websites. Interesting note: No spam articles were ever posted to Spam dissection episodes 1 and 2. I guess they don't like it when you make fun of them! Lets keep doing it!

Disclaimer

We just want to say that every real message we get on our contact forums and in no way would we openly mock messages in the public light. Many of the e-mails I will be presenting to you are blatant spam and chances are many other sites have received the same message. If you are a spammer which is somehow easily offended (does that even exist?) then you may want to stop reading right now. This article is a rant/vent article and should not be taken seriously. Read the FAQ if this is your first time on this site and you have further questions about the function of this site.

Comment form #1

From: LelandChief (A.K.A. pedro(dot)s**r(at)gmail(dot)com)

Title: direct comment to article – Chinese Xbox 360 Wireless Receiver Driver setup

I have checked your blog and i have found some duplicate content, that’s why you don’t rank high in google, but there is a tool that can help you to create 100% unique articles, search for; b****d tips unlimited content.

Okay, how this scam works is by getting the WordPress administrator and users to type in "b****d tips unlimited content" into google that whoever b****d is goes up quickly in the ranks for naturally searched content. Cyborg assisted organic generation of search words giving said person a brief boost in numbers before crashing horribly.

I have checked your blog and i have found some duplicate content

If this was a real person we would probably comment that it's kind of creepy that they're going around calling out bloggers for the content that they put up on their site. Once again the sentence is vague about duplicate content. It would be completely bizarre if we were the only one talking about the Chinese Xbox Wireless Receiver. Chances are we will probably not be the last.

that’s why you don’t rank high in google

Pfft! Fuck Google! It's all about getting your mad Bing search rep up. Get with the times man! Oh yeah don't forget to like us on MySpace.

but there is a tool that can help you to create 100% unique articles

It's called a word processor. Boom! Destroyed! *mic drop*

search for; b-

Nope! I'm eating potato chips! Next Letter!

Comment form #2

From: filminterviewsinc (A.K.A. d****a(underscore)chisholm(at)gmail(dot)com

Title: direct comment to article – Xbox 360 Controller Emulator (x360ce) for PC gaming.

Exploring in Yahoo I eventually stumbled upon this web site. We absolutely love your blog and find a lot of your post’s to be precisely what I’m looking for. Would you offer guest writers to write content for yourself? I wouldn’t mind publishing a post or elaborating on most of the subjects you write about here. Again, awesome blog! However, what concerning the bottom line? Are you certain concerning the source?

This type of spam is an attempt to get the WordPress administrator to consider opening up subscribers for the hoard of spam-bots to come in posting profile links to their mail-order Russian brides and Pain Killers.

Exploring in Yahoo I eventually stumbled upon this web site.

How is the internet in 1995 doing for you guys over there? Still using Altavista too?

Would you offer guest writers to write content for yourself?

That notion is sleazy as hell. Get your own blog! Don't write for other people. Shit. De-centralization might be the only thing that can save the internet anymore.

However, what concerning the bottom line?

My bottom line is an endless pit of despair reading garbage like this all day. Just keep scrolling down, take your time bro. It's okay, you'll get there.

Are you certain concerning the source?

Concerning that the source is us. That we've made the videos and use xb360ce. Yeah. We're pretty certain!

Comment form #3

From: Essay On Booty And Junkadunk Gained (A.K.A. r*****stein(at)gmail(dot)com

Title: direct comment to article – Chinese Xbox Receiver.

Hello Dear, are you actually visiting this site on a regular basis, if so after that you will definitely get pleasant knowledge.

Hello Dear, are you actually visiting this site on a regular basis, if so after that you will definitely get pleasant knowledge.

Hahahahah, no. Keep working at that Essay bro. *puts on beanie hat and snaps fingers*

Comment form #4

From: H*****Tyrell(at)zoho(dot)com

Title: direct comment to article – Bad Capacitor CapXon caps.

The sketch is attractive, your authored material stylish. nonetheless, you command get bought an nervousness over that you wish be delivering the following. unwell unquestionably come more formerly again as exactly the same nearly a lot often inside case you shield this increase.

We don't have to really break this down. Because you see, this is poetry. Hold on while we continue to put on our little beanie hats and snap our fingers.

Comment form #5

From: stanglas****(at)whale(dash)mail(dot)com Title: direct comment to article – Cyanogen CM11 Mod and the Ouya

I am regular visitor, how are you everybody? This paragraph posted at this site is actually fastidious.

No one ever uses the word "fastidious" on any legitimate comment blog system we've been on. Why do spammers think this is some kind of power word? And we don't question that you are a regular visitor! We see comments from you almost every day! Keep trying and one day someone might be stupid enough to take you serious.

Comment form #6

From: kyled****(at)gmail(dot)com Title: direct comment to article – Do you think this site is hacking you?

Dear Administrator and visitors of s-config.com, Do you want to become a millionaire in 1 month? It is real with cryptocurrency market! Find out how to get 10%-15% daily profit! ***Insert random mal-ware links here*** I have earned $9543 last month with this project and glad to share this method with you because I can get referral commission! You also can invite your friends and get extra 5% profi!

Now for this comment we don't have to say anything. Instead we're going to let page 140 of David Gerard's "Attack of the 50 Foot Blockchain: Bitcoin, Blockchain, Ethereum & Smart Contracts" do the talking on this one. Go check out the book on amazon by the way! The link provided here makes us zero monies but will make the author some monies!

Comment form #7

From: Mariomew***(at)bestmail(dot)club

Title: direct comment to article – Linksys E8500 router.

Hellow All I like pizza! :)

I actually like this spammer. Short, sweet, and two the point. The answer is NO! Pizza is psychologically evil! Pizza is the food of commitment used bosses in the united states to get employees to agree to something they normally wouldn't do by spending a few bucks on food. Hamburgers are were it's at! Hamburgers are the food of isolation! Thanks for playing though. Oh yeah your terrible links were removed as well.

Comment form #8

From: Megan(dot)Spicegirl(at)kitchensink(dot)com

Title: Direct message via contact form.

Hey team, -

My name is Jack and I am an editor over at Instanthash.zyz

I am working hard to provide a platform that showcases the latest in tech and gadgets.

I work hard too. Sometimes a little too hard. Where we crack the LCD and a trickle of blood runs down. Best part of my work is I don't need gadgets to assist in my hardness that we work.

I have just come across your awesome site and was wondering if you would consider adding a link to our site in one of your older posts for a fee?

Aaaaaand here's the pitch! If you are ever reading this spammer. We are funded by the Brothers of Umbra. You'll have to talk to them. Oh, good luck! You have to go to their building and present a personal sacrifice.

We would be happy to pay you via Paypal for your time if you can provide an invoice.

It would be tempting to throw an invoice at them for $999.99 but here's a catch-all to this. Pushing an invoice via PayPal would offer a lot of information to a group of people that frankly never earned it. Again, it's a social engineering tactic to learn more about you the administrator by letting paypal tell them your real-life name/address/e-mail and so on.

Please let me know if this is something that might interest you.  Thanks, Jack Blagger; Blogger Instanthash.zxz